The prompt this week is to write a poem of 5-10 lines about something that brings us joy and write another poem of the same length about something that makes us mad then combine them alternating lines.
Oil and Vinegar
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Something that brings me joy
I take the curtains
out of the washing machine,
shake them, then toss them
over my shoulder
their Downy perfume
flying around the cellar.
I hang them from the clothes line
on the back porch. They kick
up their heels
and jitterbug all afternoon.
--------
Something that pisses me off
We sit in the warm April
evening on our front porch
talking quietly about our day,
listening to kids playing,
motorcycles revving,
neighbors barbecuing.
The scent of charcoal
waltzes on the breeze.
Across the street, a guy
in a wife-beater shirt,
beer in one hand,
stands against the house
and urinates.
----------
Combined
In the warm April evening
I take the curtains out of the washing machine
We sit and talk quietly on the front porch
Shake them, then toss them over my shoulder
listening to kids playing
their Downy perfume
motorcycles revving
flying around the cellar
neighbors barbecuing
I hang them from the clothesline
The scent of charcoal
on the back porch
waltzes on the breeze
They kick up their heels
Across the street, a guy in a wife-beater shirt
jitterbugging all afternoon
stands against the house and urinates.
7 comments:
Hee hee- just brilliant! I loved how the two meshed together so well and the last bit...
"Across the street, a guy in a wife-beater shirt
jitterbugging all afternoon
stands against the house and urinates."
made me laugh!
I have to say, though- your first poem was just so lovely... simple. yet it brought me great satisfaction...
Well done indeed...
p.s. thanks for the visit, too!
:)
The last three lines made me laugh! I think you have three poems here, for sure. The scrambled one turned out some very interesting lines. It's fun to experiment with lines and see where they take us- sometimes to thought patterns we normally wouldn't have.
I love the delicate touch of your poems, with al the senses alive, and many concrete images. I always look forward to what you're going to have for me to read.
I like the first one. Combining the two throws out something interesting there. :)
i do agree with christine that you DO have 3 poems here...so i think you should count each one separately for the NaPoWriMo challenge...that way you don't have to be 'behind'! also, each poem in-and-of themselves paint very clear images, and i do love the 1st one (i just washed some sheer curtains and though i dislike laundry-work, smelling the clean, fresh scent of them did make me smile); putting the 2 together surely works, although i'd really like to punch this guy so he flies away...!
nice work.. these really intertwined perfectly...
Wow !! What a novel idea and so well done too !! Must have required a good bit of thinking !! Very very nice :)
Linda,you have read the poem about the 39 yr old who died of brain tumor . May I request you to read the other side of the coin .. her husband's point of view . Though a little late in the week I thought I would post that for the Writer's Island prompt of :"Survivor"
Thank you once again for stopping by.
http://la-muse07.blogspot.com/2008/04/survivor.html
Jitterbug! Great image for the first poem - the combined makes me so uncomfortable, but it's good.
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