Thursday, March 26, 2009

Stolen First Lines for ReadWritePoem

Thanks to Gautami Tripathy for this great first line.
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That word you lost I found it under a rock
all dirty and flattened.

I took it home and washed it
then hung it on the line

in the sunshine to dry. See it there
sashaying in the breeze

becoming plumper and clearer
as it dries. The T is holding

its head up and the rust
is shining. That word you lost

I found it under the rock
of your heart.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Great poem. I like the concrete aspect the first line gives to the vague sense of 'word.' Good stuff.

Gordon Mason said...

Like the sashaying and how you chose a word and split it into 2 images.

Anonymous said...

i like the image of a word sashaying!

Ana said...

i like the final "the rock of your heart" is amazing..

Jeeves said...

I like the way this started and ended. Adding the word heart added a wonderful meaning.

gautami tripathy said...

Thanks Linda, for using my line! You did a great job of it. Loved the way it created vivid images in the mind!

over the ridge and hard planes

Anonymous said...

loved this poem :)

Andy Sewina said...

I like the way you build on the first line and then bring the reader back to where you really found it - 'I found it under the rock of your heart.'

Nicely!

Raven's Wing Poetry said...

Wow! I like how you structured this, and the last couplet is very profound. Awesome write.

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