Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Repetition for TOP

I wrote a pantoum, a poem in which the second and fourth lines of the first stanza are repeated as the first and third lines of the next stanza.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


This is the reason to leave
now that love has died:
We are total opposites;
I am warm sunshine and you are cold snow.

Now that love has died
we can go our separate ways.
Since I am warm as sunshine and you are cold as snow
we have nothing left in common.

We can go our separate ways
pursuing our individual interests.
We have nothing left in common
except for broken hearts.

A new life pursuing our individual interests
would heal our crying hearts.
But is this a valid reason to leave?
Why can’t you be cold sunshine and I be warm snow?

33 comments:

susan said...

Loved the last line, but the crying hearts? Sorry, that made me wince and surprised me. It doesn't read like you.

Pretty Me!! said...

nice one !! really loved the wordplay...

Stan Ski said...

If opposites attract, why do they never stay together?

anthonynorth said...

Cleverly done. That last line is excellent.

SweetTalkingGuy said...

It's sad when love dies and this opens up old wounds and asks questions - which of course all makes good poetry.
Nicely written!

Tumblewords: said...

Nice work and clever ending. One does wonder, for sure.

Richard said...

Linda, I do have comments but don't like to do public critiques. Shall I, or would you like to write me. rwellsrwells@mac.com

if said...

your poetry is very intime and sweet!

if said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
paisley said...

and a very nice pantoum it is.. i enjoy this form,, it is not to all confining,, and repetition is so perfect to me poetically.......

one more believer said...

i loved the wandering thoughts and the last line placed everything just so...

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