Fellow Travelers for Sunday Scribblings January 20, 2008
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American Airlines Flight 1533
Flying stand-by
Miami to Boston
packed plane
fit carry-on
in overhead bin
like a puzzle
piece
Hear baby crying
Find seat
in middle section
between two
big people
who monopolize
armrests
One won’t stop
wiggling
the other
needs a better
deodorant
Try to read
escape
Kids in back
fight
bang seat
“Excuse me”
as Wiggler
heads to bathroom
Baby still crying
Lean toward
empty seat
breathe
He’s back
too soon
Drinks
Trays come down
Elbows jabbing
Turbulence
Baby crying
Baby’s mom
crying
Me, too.
15 comments:
Hi Linda,
I think the structure of this write enhances the annoyance and discomfort the traveler feels here. This reads different from other works I've read by you. I haven't read a lot of your work, but this strikes me as a departure at least in form.
By the way, I hate flying. This didn't help any. lol
I do recognize all these - from my 'flying' years. The seat banger. Arggh. This is a nifty apropos poem!
This is such a perfect word picture of an experience I've had only too often. Great writing!
I agree with Susan, the abrupt phrasing mirrors the impatience of the traveler in this case, and to very good effect.
i agree with susan,, i was getting claustrophobic on that crowded flight myself.... excellent write
I can so relate to this piece! The way you have paced it just adds to the feeling of familiarity.
Yes, I've met these travellers too. But luckily, not every flight is filled with them!
I have had such an experience. Some days are like that!
leveller
I got a chuckle out of that. It sounds like the red eye flight I had a few months ago - stuck between two people for a six hour flight, my only opportunity to sleep before another full day of traveling. I didn't sleep very well.
This really made me smile. You achieved your goal in writing it.
I think I was on that plane!
Ohhh I shouldn't laugh, but that is purgatory! Aisle seat next time??? Well Done!
I could see that and feel it!! very well done!
LOL You managed to describe my worst nightmare when boarding a plane. Great job!
chuckle. you captured this perfectly. others are longer on patience then I am. there would be much sighing inserted!
http://ascenderrisesabove.com/wordpress/
Excellently captured. I was there.
And I'm happy to be OFF that plane againe!
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