Saturday, January 19, 2008

Fellow Travelers

Fellow Travelers for Sunday Scribblings January 20, 2008

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American Airlines Flight 1533

Flying stand-by
Miami to Boston
packed plane
fit carry-on
in overhead bin
like a puzzle
piece

Hear baby crying
Find seat
in middle section
between two
big people
who monopolize
armrests

One won’t stop
wiggling
the other
needs a better
deodorant

Try to read
escape
Kids in back
fight
bang seat
“Excuse me”
as Wiggler
heads to bathroom

Baby still crying
Lean toward
empty seat
breathe
He’s back
too soon

Drinks
Trays come down
Elbows jabbing
Turbulence
Baby crying
Baby’s mom
crying

Me, too.

15 comments:

susan said...

Hi Linda,

I think the structure of this write enhances the annoyance and discomfort the traveler feels here. This reads different from other works I've read by you. I haven't read a lot of your work, but this strikes me as a departure at least in form.

By the way, I hate flying. This didn't help any. lol

tumblewords said...

I do recognize all these - from my 'flying' years. The seat banger. Arggh. This is a nifty apropos poem!

Becca said...

This is such a perfect word picture of an experience I've had only too often. Great writing!

I agree with Susan, the abrupt phrasing mirrors the impatience of the traveler in this case, and to very good effect.

paisley said...

i agree with susan,, i was getting claustrophobic on that crowded flight myself.... excellent write

keith hillman said...

I can so relate to this piece! The way you have paced it just adds to the feeling of familiarity.

GreenishLady said...

Yes, I've met these travellers too. But luckily, not every flight is filled with them!

gautami tripathy said...

I have had such an experience. Some days are like that!


leveller

Shari said...

I got a chuckle out of that. It sounds like the red eye flight I had a few months ago - stuck between two people for a six hour flight, my only opportunity to sleep before another full day of traveling. I didn't sleep very well.

Marcella Paliekara said...

This really made me smile. You achieved your goal in writing it.

John Tran said...

I think I was on that plane!

Redness said...

Ohhh I shouldn't laugh, but that is purgatory! Aisle seat next time??? Well Done!

footlights said...

I could see that and feel it!! very well done!

Tammy said...

LOL You managed to describe my worst nightmare when boarding a plane. Great job!

AscenderRisesAbove said...

chuckle. you captured this perfectly. others are longer on patience then I am. there would be much sighing inserted!

http://ascenderrisesabove.com/wordpress/

sister AE said...

Excellently captured. I was there.

And I'm happy to be OFF that plane againe!

Linda's Poems