3WW for November 14
icy train pause
I woke up at 1:30 last night and couldn't get back to sleep because the idea for this poem was like a freight train in my brain. I finally got up and wrote it before going back to bed and falling asleep 2 hours before I had to get up to go to school.
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"Hey, Linda, Let's..."
It was Kathy’s idea.
I was two years younger
so she was the thinker
and I was the doer.
On our way home
from grammar school
one day
she challenged me
to run
right in front
of a moving train.
It was a warm
September afternoon
and the sun
was a shawl
on our shoulders
as we waited
for the St. Lawrence
and Atlantic Railroad
to make it’s
slice through
our neighborhood.
We competed
like tightrope walkers
to see who could walk
the farthest
on the rails
until
vibration
shimmied
through our feet
alerting us to the arrival
of the train.
I waited
waited
waited
until that engine
grew bigger
and bigger
then I dashed
across
the ties
and tracks.
Oil
coal
sweat
black
An extra moment’s
pauseand I would have met
icy death.
Afterwards, we continued
home, our shadows
walking ahead of us
and I wondered
when had mine grown
longer than hers?
~Linda Jacobs
November 16, 2007
6 comments:
our shadows
walking ahead of us
and I wondered
when had mine grown
longer than hers?
Oooh, I like that. Makes you think.
Welcome to 3WW! :)
I like that, too. All of it, in fact, the sun on the shoulders, the suspense, and this last bit.
This is wonderful. I love "she was the thinker and I was the doer." Almost like that voice inside your head that urges you.
This speaks to me. I was and still the impulsive one jumping before thinking...
Cynthia From Prodigal Aspersions. You can use my poem for your class.
I like the way that the poem is long and stretched out like a train building up the suspense. And then, with the shadow length imagery...yummy!
Your poem was very well written and had me on the edge of my seat. I can relate to this poem in more ways than one. Keep up the good work.
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