Wednesday, October 13, 2010

3WW: Absolve, Hiss, Ridicule

Tried to write a tritina instead of a sestina.  It sort of worked!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Save your ridicule.
It’ll only make me hiss.
Nothing you can do can absolve

you. You are a scab, solv-
ing your own ridicule-
filled life by trying to erase your his-

tory. You pick at the wounds and hiss
then try to hurt me to absolve
your own guilt from the ridicule

inflicted by parents who thought ridicule
was a form of love. Turn your hiss-
es into kisses and our issues will be solved.


4ndyman said...

Ack! You've got a bad "you're" in there! Please fix!

An interesting take on a tritina, but isn't a tritina supposed to be 10 lines long, with the last line using all three words?

Love that you turned "absolve" into "scab. solve". Although I wouldn't call this a great poem (sorry), it is a lovely bit of wordplay.

Dreamer said...

Tricky bit of wordplay with the 'scab, solving'. Nice!

nimaruichi said...

Better to give such people a wide berth :-)
You made an interesting use of the prompt.

jaerose said...

So much feeling in here! Your words really threw back some punches to all those who use power to ridicule..nicely done..Jae

Linda Jacobs said...

Thanks, 4ndyman! It's fixed. That'll teach me to hurry. I know the ending wasn't done right; that's why I said it sort of worked. It was fun even if it wasn't right.

Ramesh Sood said...

Good one!!! Enjoyed it..

ThomG said...

loved the word play and the construction in this.

senderupwords said...

'ridicule was a form of love...' God how do i relate. Nice write. Love and Light, Sender

Sumit Sarkar said...

Interesting.. :)

vivinfrance said...

I like the way you change subtly the keywords to make the poem flow.
I know what you mean about ridicule: many teachers use it as a weapon, rather than love, but the result is the same.

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