Saturday, January 24, 2009

Phantoms and Shadows for Sunday Scribblings

This is a bit melodramatic but I was eighteen and life seemed so much more intense.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You materialize
in the heat waves
of the Notre Dame
Arena parking lot.

I smile, happy
to see you
after a couple weeks
of being away.

But, rats slink out
of your mouth
and sneak into
my ears

enemy soldiers marching
through my brain
machine gunning
my heart.

The sun glints
off the onyx
ring as I take it off
and hand it back to you.

You rev
your motorcycle
engine and accelerate,
leaving me

standing alone
in your exhaust,
watching as you
become smaller

and smaller
until you turn
the corner
and dissipate.

I stand
in the flames
of the shimmering
tar, burning.


Noah said...

This leaves me with a great sadness. :(

myrtle beached whale said...

He was not the one for you. The rats should have been a dead giveaway. Great poem by an 18 year old. Teen angst is powerful.

anthonynorth said...

Ah, the time of raging hormones. You describe the scene excellently.

Anonymous said...

...and Cote is dust in the wind...

floreta said...

love that you chose an old poem for sunday scribblings. it's very fitting.

why do we always fall for the motorcycle rebels? i pictured this loud and clear.

Granny Smith said...

A phantom to banish! He wasn't worth your teen-aged emotions.

Lucy said...

The Bastard!
but u told it so well!

GreenishLady said...

Oh... I wish I could have written a poem like that when my first serious boyfriend dumped me at 17. He had the motorbike too. What was it about those guys?

susan said...

I remember this kind of pain, and I now get to relive it with two girls of my own.

Love how you write, Linda.

Stan Ski said...

I never had a motorbike and it was usually me - the guy - getting dumped...and walking home.

murat11 said...

That third stanza is a knockout...

Penny said...

At first i didn't realise you wrote this when you were 18. Then I saw, and I really felt your emotion at that time

paisley said...

i don't find it melodramatic in the least... intensity if not felt,, if not devoured if not digested,, is salt....

danni said...

emotions are what they are at any given moment, and you've identified the adolescent agony so beautifully with this verse - i loved it!!! --- what is it about those "bad boys" that draws us like moths to their flame, i wonder??? --- seems like we've all had them - interesting!!!

keiths ramblings said...

Brilliant and full of teenage angst!

BJ Roan said...

No melodrama, merely the reality of a painful breakup. I, like many, still remember mine.

Giggles said...

I understand this one too well I fear!I think the melodrama is actually incredible intuition warning us of the hazard! I didn't listen to it either!

Wow you wrote profound poetry back then too!!! Very Gifted!

Hugs Giggles

Fledgling Poet said...

The melodrama is very powerful! I enjoyed this so much, but am sorry about your heartbreak at the time...

Marguerite said...

I don't find this poem melodramatic. It describes quite well a very real pain that most of us have experienced at some time.

Lilibeth said...

Age old tears. Why is love and life so hard? You pictured it well.

Tumblewords: said...

Oh, you brought that home. I didn't know that guy, but I remember one just like him and your words stir the feelings of that time. Great stuff!

latree said...

the word 'rats' sounds so bad...

I think I felt this way long time ago.

anno said...

Not melodramatic at all; rings true. Maybe especially that last stanza.

Linda - Nickers and Ink said...

Ratty words - who has never been stung by such?

Well done.

Hey, today's prompt at MEME EXPRESS is PHANTOM.

Feel free to stop by and leave a comment with a link to your post today!


MEME EXPRESS – daily blog prompts

gel(Emerald Eyes) said...

Brings me back to that time.In many ways I think we still feel this way as adults when burned. Experience doesn't remove the pain and betrayel. (I admire you. I don't know if I'm brave enough to post my angst-ridden poetry from then.)

This rips into my older than 18 heart with creatively clear images such as "rats slink out of your mouth and sneak into my ears", "machine gunning my heart"

Linda's Poems