Sunday, December 20, 2009

Sunday Scribblings: Dare

It's crazy hectic this week with holidays, travel plans, and school (We have to go through Wed.!) so I'm reposting a poem from two years ago that I wrote for 3WW.
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It was Kathy’s idea.
I was two years younger
so she was the thinker
and I was the doer.

On our way home
from grammar school
one day
she challenged me
to run
right in front
of a moving train.

It was a warm
September afternoon
and the sun
was a shawl
on our shoulders
as we waited
for the St. Lawrence
and Atlantic Railroad
to make it’s
slice through
our neighborhood.

We competed
like tightrope walkers
to see who could walk
the farthest
on the rails
until
vibration
shimmied
through our feet
alerting us to the arrival
of the train.

I waited
waited
waited
until that engine
grew bigger
and bigger
then I dashed
across
the ties
and tracks.

Oil
coal
sweat
black

An extra moment’s
pause
and I would have met
icy death.

Afterwards, we continued
home, our shadows
walking ahead of us
and I wondered
when had mine grown
longer than hers?

16 comments:

Lilibeth said...

I really like it--especially the ending.

jaerose said...

I am glad you re-posted this. It seemed to fit the title of 'dare' perfectly. I particularly liked the one word verse. Perfect lead into the end verse. Happy Holidays Jae.

Ariel said...

a very interesting poem. enjoyed reading it.

ojanna said...

i really enjoyed reading it. the words you used put the right pictures in my imagination.

gs batty said...

Old Grizz has been in front of the on coming train. brought back suddering memories. I cannot imagine running in front of one.
Brrrrrrrrr......good peom..caught my attention

keiths ramblings said...

Delightful, your words and the style you chose.

Nara Malone said...

Great build up of tension. Loved the ending.

Stan Ski said...

Must have had similar moments in my time, but just reading this makes me shiver.

captainmolecule said...

"and the sun
was a shawl
on our shoulders"

Beautiful.

Tanya Gwen Minnick said...

I loved this poem..very neat.
happy holidays to you :)
peace

fourwindshaiga said...

Just loved it. So happy for both of you, that the story ended well.

eveningstarjilly said...

Taut like a tightrope all the way to a perfect ending. Wonderful writing; I love it!
Kate

oldegg said...

Oh this is so much like my younger days. Of course you were taller - you were braver! This is fantastic piece of work.

linda may said...

I was holding my breath for the outcome.Pleased you made it, we would have missed you writing skills.

Dee Martin said...

tight, tense, and great ending - loved the shawl line and the line about her shadow being longer. :)

Catherine Denton said...

This made me tense. You built the tension well and I also loved the longer shadow line.

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