It's crazy hectic this week with holidays, travel plans, and school (We have to go through Wed.!) so I'm reposting a poem from two years ago that I wrote for 3WW.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
It was Kathy’s idea.
I was two years younger
so she was the thinker
and I was the doer.
On our way home
from grammar school
one day
she challenged me
to run
right in front
of a moving train.
It was a warm
September afternoon
and the sun
was a shawl
on our shoulders
as we waited
for the St. Lawrence
and Atlantic Railroad
to make it’s
slice through
our neighborhood.
We competed
like tightrope walkers
to see who could walk
the farthest
on the rails
until
vibration
shimmied
through our feet
alerting us to the arrival
of the train.
I waited
waited
waited
until that engine
grew bigger
and bigger
then I dashed
across
the ties
and tracks.
Oil
coal
sweat
black
An extra moment’s
pause
and I would have met
icy death.
Afterwards, we continued
home, our shadows
walking ahead of us
and I wondered
when had mine grown
longer than hers?
16 comments:
I really like it--especially the ending.
I am glad you re-posted this. It seemed to fit the title of 'dare' perfectly. I particularly liked the one word verse. Perfect lead into the end verse. Happy Holidays Jae.
a very interesting poem. enjoyed reading it.
i really enjoyed reading it. the words you used put the right pictures in my imagination.
Old Grizz has been in front of the on coming train. brought back suddering memories. I cannot imagine running in front of one.
Brrrrrrrrr......good peom..caught my attention
Delightful, your words and the style you chose.
Great build up of tension. Loved the ending.
Must have had similar moments in my time, but just reading this makes me shiver.
"and the sun
was a shawl
on our shoulders"
Beautiful.
I loved this poem..very neat.
happy holidays to you :)
peace
Just loved it. So happy for both of you, that the story ended well.
Taut like a tightrope all the way to a perfect ending. Wonderful writing; I love it!
Kate
Oh this is so much like my younger days. Of course you were taller - you were braver! This is fantastic piece of work.
I was holding my breath for the outcome.Pleased you made it, we would have missed you writing skills.
tight, tense, and great ending - loved the shawl line and the line about her shadow being longer. :)
This made me tense. You built the tension well and I also loved the longer shadow line.
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