Thursday, September 23, 2010

Big Tent Poetry: Travel Haibun

Haibun=prose followed by haiku.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Second-block students saunter haphazardly into class. Books are piled on desks. Conversations begin. I head out to the hallway, do the normal teacher duties, for the last time. This thirty-year trip will be over in June. I watch the teenage parade, each marcher so different. There's Joe with his three-inch platform boots, white cargo pants, and black make up. There's Felicia in her skinny jeans. (I'd kill for a body like hers.) Here comes Anthony with his baggy jeans half way down his butt and the crotch somewhere around his knees. And look at Tonya's new golden hair and secret smile. She has her first boyfriend. They are all on their own trips, traveling in separate bubbles, bouncing along the locker-lined corridors.

Cranberry, melon,
apricot: autumn-dressed leaves.
One drifts to the ground.

14 comments:

gautami tripathy said...

You made my day with this! Observing students is a way with our students. And you did so well.

Glad to see you back!

Haibun: seedy deeds

Mary said...

You've made the students come alive with your words. Nice haibun.

rbarenblat said...

Oh, this is lovely. I love the image of the teenage parade, and the idea that they're traveling in their own bubbles -- and the haiku at the end makes the whole thing even more poignant.

vivinfrance said...

Welcome back to poetry. Beautiful post.

caroleesherwood said...

great juxtaposition of the haiku and the prose. the loose/metaphoric connection between them is great!

flaubert said...

Observations so beautifully described!
Pamela

Derrick said...

At least they'll make for an interesting class! Each of us has our own world.

ladynimue said...

what a travel ... what lovely images !!

nan said...

This is wonderful! It is one of my favorites this week. I love how the haiku follows from the prose - perfect - like an autumn leaf falling from the trees.

rlavalette said...

The contrast of tone and style between the prose and the haiku really strengthens this poignant piece. Well done.

christopher said...

Your description is compelling and your haiku is classic and perfect, exactly Japanese in concept.

Elizabeth said...

Wonderful haibun, great sketches of students, melancholy awareness in final haiku. Love it,

Elizabeth

Mr. Walker said...

You've inspired me to write about my students - and you did it so well in the travel tradition of the haibun. The last line of the haiku haunts me.

Tumblewords: said...

Traveling in their own bubbles - a lovely and honest description of these kids - a very fine response to the prompt.

Linda's Poems