Thursday, April 16, 2009

NaPoWriMo Day 16: Allure, Vivid, and Perch for 3WW

We were out hunting,
the woods all golden,

two parents and four kids
walking along a skidder trail.

I spied a bird
high on his perch,

a vivid speck against the blue.
The allure too much,

my brother tried to shoot it.
The bullet flew off to another planet.

I laughed. He turned red.
“You do it, then,” he said.

I took the gun,
spread my legs to balance,

aimed up to heaven,
and pulled the trigger.

That bird fell
right at my feet,

fat and warm.

The leaves
crunched like remorse

as we quietly made our way
back out of the woods.
at

11 comments:

  1. AnonymousApril 16, 2009 at 4:11 PM

    Ahhh!!!! I'm so sorry. Isn't it weird how brothers had the power to make us raise to the challenge but the victory wasn't as sweet as we were led to believe?

    http://lori102870.blogspot.com/2009/04/it-flows-freelynapowrimo-16by-me.html

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  2. piaApril 16, 2009 at 4:11 PM

    I can see why you didn't want to remember that. Very vivid

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  3. AnonymousApril 16, 2009 at 4:54 PM

    "The leaves / crunched like remorse" is a powerful sound and visual image.

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  4. Andy SewinaApril 16, 2009 at 6:19 PM

    Phew, but you'd have thought that the sound of the first shot would have frightenrd the bird away.

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  5. Thom GabrukiewiczApril 16, 2009 at 8:09 PM

    You know, I hunt, but the first (and only) time I killed a songbird with my BB gun, I was so remorseful. I stick with wild game now - and always eat what I shoot. (Good thing I'm not on the frontier, or else I would have starved by now anyway.)

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  6. Erin DavisApril 16, 2009 at 8:13 PM

    Powerful and heartbreaking.

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  7. when the musics overApril 16, 2009 at 9:17 PM

    Very much an unforgettable memory. You summarized the mixed emotions quite well.

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  8. Liz at Yips and HowlsApril 16, 2009 at 10:37 PM

    The vivid pictures you paint make this so poignant.

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  9. PamApril 16, 2009 at 11:08 PM

    Leaves crunching like remorse-- wonderful line.

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  10. susanApril 17, 2009 at 6:26 AM

    The leaves/crunched like remorse

    I was stunned. Very effective line and image.

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  11. Cassiopeia RisesApril 17, 2009 at 2:10 PM

    Excellent poem and use of prompt words. Well done.

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