This is a bit melodramatic but I was eighteen and life seemed so much more intense.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
You materialize
in the heat waves
of the Notre Dame
Arena parking lot.
I smile, happy
to see you
after a couple weeks
of being away.
But, rats slink out
of your mouth
and sneak into
my ears
enemy soldiers marching
through my brain
machine gunning
my heart.
The sun glints
off the onyx
ring as I take it off
and hand it back to you.
You rev
your motorcycle
engine and accelerate,
leaving me
standing alone
in your exhaust,
watching as you
become smaller
and smaller
until you turn
the corner
and dissipate.
I stand
in the flames
of the shimmering
tar, burning.
This leaves me with a great sadness. :(
ReplyDeleteHe was not the one for you. The rats should have been a dead giveaway. Great poem by an 18 year old. Teen angst is powerful.
ReplyDeleteAh, the time of raging hormones. You describe the scene excellently.
ReplyDelete...and Cote is dust in the wind...
ReplyDeletelove that you chose an old poem for sunday scribblings. it's very fitting.
ReplyDeletewhy do we always fall for the motorcycle rebels? i pictured this loud and clear.
A phantom to banish! He wasn't worth your teen-aged emotions.
ReplyDeleteThe Bastard!
ReplyDeletebut u told it so well!
Oh... I wish I could have written a poem like that when my first serious boyfriend dumped me at 17. He had the motorbike too. What was it about those guys?
ReplyDeleteI remember this kind of pain, and I now get to relive it with two girls of my own.
ReplyDeleteLove how you write, Linda.
I never had a motorbike and it was usually me - the guy - getting dumped...and walking home.
ReplyDeleteThat third stanza is a knockout...
ReplyDeleteAt first i didn't realise you wrote this when you were 18. Then I saw, and I really felt your emotion at that time
ReplyDeletei don't find it melodramatic in the least... intensity if not felt,, if not devoured if not digested,, is salt....
ReplyDeleteemotions are what they are at any given moment, and you've identified the adolescent agony so beautifully with this verse - i loved it!!! --- what is it about those "bad boys" that draws us like moths to their flame, i wonder??? --- seems like we've all had them - interesting!!!
ReplyDeleteBrilliant and full of teenage angst!
ReplyDeleteNo melodrama, merely the reality of a painful breakup. I, like many, still remember mine.
ReplyDeleteI understand this one too well I fear!I think the melodrama is actually incredible intuition warning us of the hazard! I didn't listen to it either!
ReplyDeleteWow you wrote profound poetry back then too!!! Very Gifted!
Hugs Giggles
The melodrama is very powerful! I enjoyed this so much, but am sorry about your heartbreak at the time...
ReplyDeleteI don't find this poem melodramatic. It describes quite well a very real pain that most of us have experienced at some time.
ReplyDeleteAge old tears. Why is love and life so hard? You pictured it well.
ReplyDeleteOh, you brought that home. I didn't know that guy, but I remember one just like him and your words stir the feelings of that time. Great stuff!
ReplyDeletethe word 'rats' sounds so bad...
ReplyDeleteI think I felt this way long time ago.
Not melodramatic at all; rings true. Maybe especially that last stanza.
ReplyDeleteRatty words - who has never been stung by such?
ReplyDeleteWell done.
Hey, today's prompt at MEME EXPRESS is PHANTOM.
Feel free to stop by and leave a comment with a link to your post today!
Blessings,
Linda
MEME EXPRESS – daily blog prompts
Brings me back to that time.In many ways I think we still feel this way as adults when burned. Experience doesn't remove the pain and betrayel. (I admire you. I don't know if I'm brave enough to post my angst-ridden poetry from then.)
ReplyDeleteThis rips into my older than 18 heart with creatively clear images such as "rats slink out of your mouth and sneak into my ears", "machine gunning my heart"